


A Liberation of Hidden Treasures

by drarryisgreen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Slash, scarstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 02:40:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drarryisgreen/pseuds/drarryisgreen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sirius escapes death, Harry moves into Grimmauld Place. His schoolboy crush on Sirius begins to take a life of its own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Liberation of Hidden Treasures

**Author's Note:**

> Written for HPRAREFEST 2013 on LJ 
> 
> First of all, I loved this prompt and wrote the first half within the first few days of receiving it, then after a four week break and finding my FANTASTIC beta, who whole-heartedly encouraged me to finish this fic; I managed to complete it in two days. I truly hope that _**marianna_merlo**_ likes what I did with her prompt (and appreciates the ending). I truly thought about her when I wrote this (even though I may have deviated a bit from the original request). I hope you can forgive me for that. The title of the story comes from the following quote: "No man and woman know what will be born in the darkness of their intermingling; so much besides children, so many invisible births, exchanges of soul and character, blossoming of unknown selves, liberation of hidden treasures, buried fantasies...”

**Warning(s):** CHAN (36/16), character death, but not an unhappy ending.

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
\--------------------  
  
It was a rare counterspell that many wizards had never heard of.

Severus Snape, who had created ‘Sectumsempra’ for enemies, had also written a counter spell for Unforgivable Curses. A shield one could create that would deflect many dangerous curses – a spell called _Incantatio Reveneoscutum_. It created a translucent or transparent energy field that would strike the opponent back.

Sirius Black had been fortunate enough to have learned this little alternative curse from his secret boyfriend when they attended Hogwarts together. Sirius had never thought that his once covert affair in their seventh year with Severus would ever be a cause to save his life. He made a mental note of thanking Severus later when this was all over. Severus had once attempted to impress Sirius and revealed the spell to him when they were lying naked in bed. If he knew Severus well, which he did, he knew that he’d be expressing his gratitude whilst he was on his knees.

As Sirius taunted his cousin causing her to strike him with a curse, Sirius inaudibly muttered ‘Incantatio Reveneoscutum’ that caused Bellatrix’s curse to strike back at her. Afterwards Sirius collapsed due to the exhaustion of having used a strong counter spell which led many to believe that he had died. In the aftermath of his Godfather’s supposed death Harry chased after Bellatrix attempting to exact revenge but was unsuccessful and faced Voldemort alone until Dumbledore arrived to his rescue.

It was only after Bellatrix and Voldemort escaped that Harry realised Sirius was still alive. The joy of having his Godfather was so tremendous that Harry couldn’t hold back and afterwards felt as though he had cried for hours in Sirius’ arms.

“Please let me stay with you this summer!” He pleaded with Sirius at the end of the school year when the students were ready to return home. The Order knew that they had a long journey ahead and preparations to make if they were to properly train against the army of Death Eaters the Voldemort would be creating.

Sirius was of course aware of the treatment Harry received under the Dursleys and eventually agreed to his request. Little did he know that Harry had been developing an unhealthy infatuation with his Godfather. At the end of the Fourth year every time Harry was in need of a wank he had imagined Sirius’ hands on him. At first he had thought of it as simply a phase but the countless number of dreams over the summer before Fifth year had proven otherwise. So now that fate had given Sirius another chance to live, Harry wasn’t going to waste any time. He longed to be in Sirius’ arms and he was determined to complete his yearning.

________________________________________

When Harry exited the Hogwarts Express in King’s Cross Station his heart leapt with happiness at the sight of Sirius waiting for him with open arms. Harry ran to Sirius and embraced him so tightly that Sirius laughed and claimed he needed to breathe. Harry’s face turned red with embarrassment not because of his overly displayed affection for his Godfather but due to the arousal he felt at the touch of Sirius’ hand brushing his cheek with regard.

“I’ve taken the liberty of sending a letter to Petunia to tell her that you shall be staying under my protection this summer,” Sirius informed Harry the moment they arrived at Number 12, Grimmauld Place.

“Oh, any response?” Harry asked unable to hide his excitement.

“I have taken their silence on the matter as an agreeable response,” Sirius winked at Harry as he wrapped his arm around him and guided him to his bedroom. “I had this room cleaned out for you, the bed, the sheets and the curtains are all new...” Sirius continued talking about making Harry’s stay comfortable when Harry interrupted him.

“Where is your room?” Harry asked curiously.

“It’s upstairs, right above yours actually,” Sirius responded with a smile.

Harry couldn’t hide his disappointment. He had wished to stay on the same floor as Sirius but wasn’t sure how he’d explain his reasoning.

“I thought I might give you some privacy. In case any of your friends come to visit, you can have the entire level to yourself. They can sleep in the guest room next to yours or in your room, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“I'm not staying here Sirius because I want to hang out with my friends,” Harry protested causing Sirius to laugh.

“You’re just as intense as your father,” Sirius ruffled Harry’s hair triggering him to feel much younger than he actually was, “I’ll show you a trick, come here.” Sirius pulled Harry into his supposed new bedroom and they stood next to the wall adjacent to the bed. “I had Muggle technology installed in the house, sort of a rebellious effort I’d say.” Sirius laughed as he showed Harry an intercom that was posted on the wall. “There are several buttons; you can press for the appropriate room you’re trying to speak into. If you have trouble sleeping at night, you can press this button, it rings in my bedroom upstairs and we can talk.”

Harry smiled at Sirius’ explanation of the Intercom System installed in his home though the entire time he was concentrated on the fact that they were holding hands.

The first night Harry slept in his new bedroom, he did everything but that. The thought of lying in bed directly under Sirius was too tantalising a thought for Harry’s mind to relax. Eventually when he drifted off, his dreams indicated that his mind still hadn’t worn out. He dreamt of a bronzed body pressed onto him as his skin was tickled by someone’s facial hair and a tongue peeking through it, licking and biting. Harry woke up only to discover that Odie, the house cat, was the one licking and tickling his face. He laughed bitterly at his bizarre circumstances and his infatuation.

A few moments later Harry heard Sirius’ voice through the intercom.

“Harry, are you awake?”

Harry threw his arm out towards the intercom next to his bed and responded. “Yeah, just woke up.”

“Great, meet me downstairs for breakfast. The Order is due to be here in an hour and I wanted to know if you want to sit in the meeting.”

Harry beamed and shortly realised that Sirius couldn’t see him so he needed to say something in response. The thought that Sirius couldn’t see him suddenly enticed Harry. He had his sexual kinks that he had kept well hidden from his friends but today was one of those days when he felt the need to unleash them. He slowly slid his hands in his pants and touched himself with his left hand as he reached back to press the intercom button to respond to Sirius.

“Yeah, I can be downstairs in...” His touch was demanding as he successfully made himself hard and bit his lower lip, “...ten minutes. Do you think you can wait Sirius?” Harry wondered if he sounded seductive, in his head he was inviting Sirius into his bedroom, though he was fully aware that was a dream, a mere fantasy.

“Sure, I’ll meet you downstairs in ten love.”

_Love,_ the fantasy became more piercing as Harry’s erection began to hurt, he longed for a release. He removed his pants and began to move his hand. He remembered his dream and imagined Sirius pressed behind him, his hand was Sirius’s hand pleasuring him, his mouth sucking on Harry’s neck, his other hand running its fingers through Harry’s hair...and that was enough. He closed his eyes and shuddered as he came.

The reality came rushing to Harry. He wasn’t at Hogwarts, where he could use a cleaning charm. He wasn’t at Little Whinging where he could use the washing machine discreetly; he was used to laundering his own clothes. He had no idea what to do when the intercom buzzed again.

“Harry, are you coming?”

_I just did_.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in one second.” Harry rushed back to his bed and wore his nightclothes and ran down the steps. He’d have to get Kreacher to do something about the stickiness on his bed sheets.

As Harry arrived at the breakfast table in the kitchen he avoided eye contact with Sirius and sat down on the chair.

“How was the wank?”

“I’m sorry, the what?” Harry’s voice squeaked as he pretended to sound innocent, completely failing at his attempted nonchalance.

“Well, you’re still dressed in your wrinkled night clothes. You’ve neither showered nor brushed your teeth, you spent over ten minutes in your room after agreeing to meet me in the kitchen, so clearly you were wanking,” Sirius winked and returned to buttering his bread. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

“The girl?”

“Harry, I know I’m your Godfather, but think of me as your friend too. Why don’t you tell me who you fancy? Is it that bushy haired girl, the one whose intelligence makes us all look like blabbering buffoons?”

“Hermione?” Harry responded in shock, his voice finally returning to a normal pitch. “No, I don’t fancy Hermione... and I don’t fancy girls.” He took a bite of his eggs and continued to pour himself pumpkin juice.

“Oh, I didn’t realise that,” Sirius’ response, Harry thought, made him seem discomfited.

“Is that a problem? It’s not too late for me to return to Little Whinging,” Harry responded in a tone of disappointment and gloom.

“No, of course it’s not a problem. I'm not going to send you packing to the Dursleys; I can see now why they were so gruelling towards you. Homophobic pricks! Don’t worry Harry; I’m just surprised is all. I could never kick you out; it would be a bit hypocritical of me.”

“What do you mean?” Harry’s glass of juice didn’t reach his lips as he asked the question causing Sirius to raise his eyebrows in delight. It was an adequate response to Harry’s question, the expression was everything.

_Sirius is gay_. Suddenly, Harry’s fantasy had an elevated opportunity of becoming a reality someday.

“So, you didn’t answer my question,” Sirius continued. “Who were you wanking to?”

“Nobody,” Harry lied. “It was an idea, a fantasy. Nothing in particular.”

“I remember those days,” Sirius smirked. “Oh, but to be young and have a vivid imagination. Nothing seemed impossible; every illusion had a likelihood of actuality. Even your wildest dreams could come true!”

“Sirius, I didn’t realise you were such a poet!” Harry joked.

“Oh, the best ones are,” Sirius winked again dotting a reaction in Harry’s pants. “Now, hop to it. Shower and get dressed. The Order will be here soon and I’ll send Kreacher to clean your sheets.”

Harry nodded, lost for words due to his embarrassment of being caught.

________________________________________

Harry arrived ten minutes late to the meeting. He was glad to see that Molly Weasley wasn’t there. She had a habit of coddling Harry that embarrassed him in front of the group, especially Sirius, who he struggled to impress at the best of times.

As Harry closed the door behind him Sirius looked up and beamed at Harry, his arm gesturing for Harry to come and sit next to him. Harry squeezed in-between Tonks and Sirius, who immediately put his arm around Harry and Harry in turn rested his left hand on Sirius’ leg.

Harry listened as the group discussed strategies. He thought for the first meeting of the summer, he’d best keep quiet and try to figure out the dynamics of the group. Another reason Harry stayed quiet was due to his arousal at being so close to Sirius. His hand rested on Sirius’ leg who paid no regard to it; however Harry continuously caught Severus Snape eyeing Harry with disdain. The scornful look was more intense than normal, Harry thought, he wondered if Snape could see right through him and his crush on Sirius.

After the meeting adjourned, Tonks and Harry stayed at the table talking. Harry often enjoyed Tonks’ company and for some odd reason felt really drawn to her. Apart from Harry and his friends, Nymphadora was the youngest in the Order and the one closest to Harry in age. He felt as though he truly could talk to her about anything.

As their conversation continued, Harry noticed that Sirius and Snape seemed as though they were having a private conversation that didn’t have anything to do with the Order. Snape stood still nodding his head as Sirius’ hands waived around. He saw a small smile curl up on the corner of Snape’s lips and Harry raised an eyebrow.

Jealousy spread all over Harry’s body. It only became worse when Sirius brushed Snape’s arm with his hand and Snape smiled. Harry had never seen Snape smile in that manner. _Were they flirting?_ Now that Harry knew that Sirius was gay, he saw every conversation of Sirius’ with a new light. He found himself wondering what Sirius’ type was.

Harry’s concentration was broken when Tonks placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder and spoke, “Harry, are you listening?”

“Yeah, sorry. I just got distracted.”

“What are you thinking about?” Tonks asked, smirking and causing Harry to wonder if she could see right through him as well. “Come on, tell me. I promise I'm good at keeping secrets.”

“It’s nothing. I was just wondering, what with the war and all, I understand that people don’t really have time to date or anything...” Harry paused and Tonks nodded at him, a look of sadness revealed in her eyes, as though she understood more than she led on. “I was just wondering what’s Sirius’ type?” Harry looked into Tonks’ eyes and panicked, “Please don’t tell anyone I just asked that!”

Tonks laughed and shook her head. “Don’t worry; I told you, I'm the best at secrets.” She paused for a few moments then began whispering. “I'm not sure exactly. I know Remus once told me that during their seventh year at Hogwarts he had a secret affair with someone. Many guessed it was James, many thought it was Severus. Of course, it wasn’t your father, you dad wasn’t gay. I mean, he could be bisexual but I think he was quite loyal to your mum...I’m blathering aren’t I?”

She shook her head and continued, “From what I have noticed, and what I have gathered from various conversations I’d say he fancies dark haired men with strong personalities. Remus also told me that right before the tragedy, right before he was sent to Azkaban, he was dating an eighteen year old Muggle actor named Jason _something_. But, of course, when the tragedy occurred the poor bloke had no idea where Sirius disappeared to. Surely that was the last time he had a relationship and now we are all in this quandary, you know, trying to save the world from the Dark Lord,” Tonks smiled.

“Thanks Tonks,” Harry smiled in return. “This...Jason, he had dark hair as well?”

“I think so. I once saw a photograph of him in Sirius’ room when we began meeting here last year. The next time I snuck into the room, the box of memorabilia had gone so I figured Sirius just wanted his privacy and I stopped snooping around. I’m quite sure Kreacher told on me.”

The meeting had ended and the members of the Order slowly began to trickle away. Tonks told Harry she had to leave as well because she had to visit Molly Weasley. Harry told her to send his regards to the Weasleys and she smiled.

Thanks to his conversation with Tonks, Harry had decided to make it his personal mission to find the photograph of this mysterious actor named Jason _something_. According to his calculations, he would be thirty three years old now. Harry wasn’t sure why that mattered, but he still made a note of it.

________________________________________

Harry’s first few weeks’ stay at Number 12, Grimmauld Place was rather difficult. He woke up every morning panting from a sexual dream where he couldn’t see his lover’s face but noticed different things about him. Seeing Sirius every morning at the breakfast table was a delight. However, the Order members were always over – sometimes for official meetings, other times just to see Harry. Even though Harry welcomed his friends’ visits, he was getting frustrated with the fact that he didn’t get any alone time in the house. He barely received any alone time with Sirius.

The only time Harry spent alone with Sirius was during breakfast, and at night when they’d have small chats over the intercom right before going to bed. At the Order meetings, Harry still managed to always sit next to Sirius, whose arm would be around Harry, his hand on Sirius’ knee in return. Slowly but surely, Harry had begun to gently caress Sirius’ thigh as he sat next to him. Sirius almost never responded to Harry’s subtle advances except once.

Harry remembered the incident quite clearly. It was Monday, the 15th of July. Harry’s hand rested on Sirius’ knee as usual. He slowly began to caress his way up to his thigh but this time Harry had decided to take it one step further.

His hand reached higher caressing Sirius’ inner thigh when suddenly Harry felt Sirius’ other hand reach out and grab his left wrist. Kingsley was speaking and Harry turned to look at Sirius and Sirius simply shook his head, his grey eyes glaring at him. Harry was afraid that Sirius was livid.

Sirius yanked Harry’s hand away and returned to looking at Kingsley. Harry looked down in shame but caught the bulge in Sirius’ trousers. Unsettled, Harry took his left arm and placed it on the table; he turned his head as well towards Kingsley and caught Snape glowering at him yet again.

The next meeting, which was two days later, Sirius joined the group late and although Harry had saved him a spot next to him, he chose to sit in the back with Remus. This eventually became the tradition as the seating dynamics changed at the meeting.

________________________________________

The awkward silence between Sirius and Harry continued for a few days until Sirius needed a favour.

“Harry, can I borrow your invisibility cloak?” Sirius asked over breakfast.

“Yeah of course Sirius, can I ask why?”

“I need to go to Muggle London and I was going to leave here in my Animagus shape but eventually I’ll need to change forms and I just thought it might be easier if I had a bit of protection.”

“Who are you going to meet?” Harry asked, knowing that it wasn’t his place, but curiosity still got the best of him.

“An old friend,” Sirius responded vaguely and returned his attention back to his breakfast.

This was the first time that Sirius would leave Harry alone since he had moved in. Though Harry didn’t like the way Sirius had begun treating him, he was happy to finally be able to snoop around Sirius’ bedroom. He was curious to learn more about the man he was living with, the man he’d been and was still so infatuated with.

Harry waited fifteen minutes after Sirius departed with his invisibility cloak to run to Sirius’ room.

Harry knew that he had never been to Sirius’ room before and he was overwhelmed with the similarity of how he had decorated Harry’s bedroom. Similar to Harry’s newly decorated bedroom, Sirius’ room had a tall window with long velvet curtains. Their rooms were decorated correspondingly with Gryffindor banners and colours. Sirius’ bedroom was larger than Harry’s and his bed seemed to be more spacious.

Harry trailed his fingers on the fabric of the comforter and leaned in to smell the pillow. It smelled like him. The walls of the room were covered with many pictures that hid the wallpaper. Harry noticed posters of Muggle motorcycles being ridden by shirtless men who wore very tight denim and cowboy boots. Many of the posters consisted series of captions entitled ‘Hunk-du-jour.’ Harry giggled.

Harry saw a framed picture on the bedside table; it was a young Sirius with his arm around a young bloke that Harry didn’t recognise. The unnamed bloke, in Harry’s opinion, looked as though he was around the same age as Harry. Harry picked up the frame and looked at the back of it. It had scribbling on it that read ‘Sirius and Jason, 1981.’ This was the Jason _something_ , the eighteen year old actor Tonks had told Harry about. Upon looking at Jason’s face more closely, Harry thought that he looked a bit like Lucius Malfoy only with darker hair. The image of Lucius and Sirius engaging in sexual activity amalgamated in Harry’s mind and he shuddered. This Jason also seemed to have short dark hair, and piercing blue eyes. Harry looked up at the mirror and compared his own appearance to that of Jason’s.

Harry sat on Sirius’ bed holding the framed photograph. He wasn’t sure how long he had been there before he heard the front door. Harry hurriedly placed the photograph back on the side table and ran out of Sirius’ room but it was too late, Sirius had begun coming upstairs.

“Harry, what are you doing?”

“Nothing...I was...nothing,” Harry stumbled on his words; nervousness displayed all but pouring off him.

Harry attempted to brush past Sirius down the stairs but Sirius held onto Harry’s arm. “What were you doing in my bedroom?” The older man demanded.

“I was curious,” Harry responded honestly.

“Curious about what?”

“ I’ve never been to your bedroom before, I’ve never even been left alone in the house before. I was curious,” Harry shrugged. When Sirius didn’t respond, or let go of Harry’s arm, Harry continued, rather bitterly. “Where did you go? Off to see Jason?”

“What?” Sirius shouted in surprise rather than anger.

“I know about him. I know you dated a Muggle before...Azkaban and you said you were going to Muggle London, and you wanted my invisibility cloak.”

Sirius interrupted him. “Yes, I went to see Jason.”

“Why?” Harry asked.

“Why? Because we used to be in love, and I wanted to make sure he was doing well. What is so wrong with wanting to catch up with old friends?”

Harry shook his head. He tore his gaze away from Sirius’ eyes and looked at his feet. “Nothing, I guess.” He muttered.

Sirius pulled Harry towards him, shortening the distance between them; he pulled Harry up one step until they were on the same level. His hand gently brushed Harry’s against Harry’s. He spoke again, “What is it Harry? What’s the matter?”

Harry looked up into Sirius’ eyes, full of worry for him, for Harry. Harry stared into the deep grey eyes; he didn’t know what possessed him as he darted towards Sirius and placed his lips on Sirius’ mouth, biting into his lower lip. Sirius pushed Harry back against the wall, his body encompassed Harry’s, kissing him back, sucking on Harry’s tongue. Harry slowly moved his body in a wave like motion, the bulge in his trousers brushing against Sirius’ groin undulated.

Sirius thrust against him one last time, the kiss becoming deeper, hungrier, then, suddenly and without warning he pulled himself away from Harry.

“No! Harry this is wrong. I’m sorry!” He started to turn away until Harry pulled on _his_ arm this time.

“It’s not wrong. It doesn’t feel wrong!” Harry retorted.

“It feels wrong to me,” Sirius responded, shaking off Harry’s hand.

“Why are you denying it? You want this, you want me.” Harry insisted.

“That’s not true,” Sirius backed up the few steps and went to his room. As he attempted to close the door; Harry barged in, closing the door behind them.

“Your touches, your hugs, they indicate otherwise Sirius. You sat next to me every time in the Order meetings and you let me...you let me touch you. You know I want you, that’s why you let me rest my hand on your lap. You know it’s you I think about in the shower when you hear me moaning, pleasuring myself. You’ve been so cruel to me; you’ve taken away your touch. You don’t sit next to me in the meetings anymore and I know it’s hurting you as much as it hurts me!” Tears began trickling down Harry’s eyes. He could see the pain it was causing Sirius. He knew Sirius always wanted to see him smile. He just hadn’t been showing it recently.

“I can’t Harry. It’s not right. I shouldn’t have let you continue your touches when I realised that they weren’t as harmless as I had first thought. Please leave. I want to be alone right now.” Sirius opened the room and waited for Harry to leave. Harry was still sobbing but he obeyed and left Sirius’ bedroom and walked downstairs to his own. He curled up on his bed and fell asleep sobbing over being rejected.

________________________________________

A few hours later, Harry pressed the intercom button to Sirius’ room.

“Sirius, are you there?” His voice was sad and sounded as though he had spent hours crying, all rough and choked.

“Yes Harry, I’m here,” Sirius responded after several moments. Harry knew, somehow that Sirius had considered not responding at all. “Are you feeling alright?”

“No. Can I come see you? I don’t want anything; I just want to see you.”

There was no response from the other side of the intercom for a while, then Sirius finally responded. “Okay, you can come up.”

Harry went to the bathroom to wash his face before heading to Sirius’ room. When he arrived he knocked and then eventually opened the door. He saw Sirius sitting on his bed with a book in hand, Harry noticed that the photo frame with Sirius and Jason was placed face down. Harry walked around Sirius’ bed; he removed his shoes and socks and sat on the bed facing Sirius, legs crossed.

The older man and the young wizard sat quietly for several minutes. Eventually, Harry lay down and placed his head in Sirius’ lap. Sirius immediately began stroking Harry’s hair softly.

“Can I sleep here tonight, in your bed? I don’t want to do anything, you don’t even have to hold me –can I just stay here?” Harry asked; his head still placed in Sirius’ lap as he gazed up into the grey eyes.

Sirius nodded. He pushed Harry’s shoulders up; indicating him to get up as he removed the cover and Harry crawled in under the covers. He moved a bit away, and rested on his left side, his back to Sirius closing his eyes. Harry felt a shift in the bed as Sirius adjusted himself. Eventually, Harry felt an arm placed around him. Harry arched his body, snuggling into Sirius.

Right before he drifted off Sirius whispered in Harry’s ear, “Just for one night.”

Harry didn’t respond.

________________________________________

When Harry woke up the next morning he found himself alone in Sirius’ bed. He looked around the room for any indication of Sirius and found none. He saw a piece of parchment next to Sirius’ pillow and read:

_Harry, I’ve got to leave for a few days, Dumbledore’s orders. I will be back by Wednesday evening. Your friends are more than welcome to come over while I’m not there. I’ve already sent an owl to the Weasleys to check in on you from time to time via the Floo Network and instructed them to respect your privacy. See you soon, Sirius._

________________________________________

_Wednesday evening_. Harry thought to himself. It was his birthday on Wednesday. _At least he’ll be here to spend some time with me on my birthday_. Harry rolled over to Sirius’s side of the bed and slept for a few more hours. He decided that for the next three days while Sirius was gone that he would sleep in Sirius’ bed. He’d have to make sure to tell Kreacher to set the wards around the house to be securer. He didn’t want any of the frequent visitors to realise that Harry was sleeping in Sirius’ bed.

Later that Sunday afternoon when Harry finally woke up he was immediately saddened by having breakfast alone. He missed Sirius. He called on Kreacher to give him instructions for the house. Later he received two owls from Ron and Hermione indicating that they wanted to spend Tuesday night at the Black residence to celebrate Harry’s birthday on Wednesday. Harry happily wrote back inviting his friends to stay over on Tuesday night. He was comforted a bit by the fact that his friends would be with him even though Sirius wasn’t going to be there.

During dinner on Sunday night Harry announced to Kreacher that guests would be coming and for him to prepare the guest bedrooms for Ron and Hermione who would be staying over the night. He further told Kreacher that he would be sleeping in Sirius’ room Sunday and Monday night and that it would be confidential information and that he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone about Harry’s sleeping arrangements. Harry chuckled a bit at Kreacher’s reaction who vocally hated the fact that a ‘Mudblood’ and a ‘Bloodtraitor’ were coming to stay at the house, but did not even seem to care that there might be any sort of homosexual activities going in the house. Harry often found the priorities of the Wizarding world a bit peculiar.

Harry decided to shower in Sirius’ bathroom before going off to bed. He entered the shower and found the warm water on his body to be quite comforting. He couldn’t help but wish Sirius was with him. _Was it possible to miss someone you’d never had_? The notion of Sirius holding him from behind and kissing the back of his neck derived an instant reaction to Harry’s cock. Harry wanted nothing more than for Sirius to arrive and hold him, run his fingers through his hair. Harry grabbed his elated state and began pulling on it with a slow start but the speed picked up quickly. Harry felt so deeply for Sirius, he had surprised himself, he remembered the first kiss they shared the day before and how amazing it felt to sleep in Sirius’ arms. As Harry came, he moaned with incredible passion and intensity, he called out Sirius’ name but sadly his call went unanswered.

Harry towelled himself dry and walked around naked in Sirius’ bedroom. He went in his cupboard and saw a silk robe hanging. He grabbed it and wore it. Harry set himself in Sirius’ bed wearing his robe and picked up one of the books he’d seen Sirius reading. Eventually he drifted off and repeated similar events the next night.

Tuesday morning, Harry cleaned Sirius’ room and bathroom himself. He removed almost all evidence of having slept in Sirius’ bed the previous two nights. He then prepared for his friends’ arrival and any festivities that they might share.

________________________________________

Ron and Hermione’s visit was good and distracting. Harry was happy to hear of his friends’ adventures and the trips they were taking over the summer. Harry expressed that he was excited to visit Fred and George’s shop in Diagon Alley with them and made them promise that they wouldn’t go without him. The night was fun and Harry was happy being a kid again with his friends. Hermione did ask him if something was bothering him but he shrugged it off. He wasn’t sure how to tell his friends about his feelings for Sirius. He promised that when the time came, they would be the first to know.

Wednesday morning after breakfast Harry’s friends left via the Floo and Harry was all alone in the house again. The feeling of depression and loneliness began to set in. After lunch Harry found the liquor cabinet stocked and decided to treat himself to a birthday drink or two.

Harry sat himself on the sofa in the Black House sitting room and sipped on the Firewhiskey. He picked up the _Prophet_ and began an article on the latest Quidditch Scandal in the last World Cup. Twenty minutes later he made himself another drink and came across an article about Sirius. It talked about how there were many members in the Wizarding world that didn’t believe him to be innocent. Harry became enraged whilst reading the article and finished his drink in one gulp and poured himself one more. He eventually dozed off on the sofa clinging to the _Prophet_ article about Sirius.

________________________________________

Harry woke up in his bed with no idea as to how he’d got there. He checked the time on the Muggle clock in his room that Sirius had kept, seeing it was seven thirty. He heard a commotion outside his room and decided to go downstairs. He saw Sirius and Snape arguing but didn’t know what they were talking about. Snape glanced up the stairs towards Harry and glared at him, his usual greeting that Harry ignored. Sirius saw Harry and smiled.

“Harry! Glad you’re awake. Happy Birthday!” Sirius’ greeting seemed genuine.

“Potter,” Snape nodded. He picked up his travelling cloak and made his way towards the Floo.

“How did I get in my bed?” Harry asked Sirius as he made his way down the stairs.

“I came home and saw you unconscious on the sofa. Then I saw the half empty bottle of Firewhiskey so I picked you up and took you to your room.” Sirius answered as he smiled and poured himself a small shot for Firewhiskey and sipped on it.

Harry approached the sofa he had used earlier and sat down folding his legs up to his chest as he wrapped his arms around them. He rested his forehead on his knees and sat quietly. Sirius watched Harry as he stood above him for a while and eventually sat down next to him.

“What’s the matter Harry?”

Harry moved his head to look up at Sirius and eventually nodded. His eyes were red and he looked as though he might cry again.

“Kreacher tells me your friends were here yesterday and stayed with you to celebrate your birthday,” Sirius added. Harry smiled at him and nodded in acknowledgement. Sirius continued, “Kreacher’s told me some other things and I noticed my robe on your chair in your room.” Harry’s eyes widened, he feared that he would be scolded by Sirius again for crossing the line.

“I’m sorry. I just...missed you. I didn’t think that Kreacher would tell on me,” Harry answered.

“It’s alright Harry, I missed you too,” Sirius smiled. “I’m sorry that I had to leave you alone without notice like that. I didn’t even get a chance to get you a birthday present.”

“I don’t want anything. What I want, I can’t have,” Harry answered returning his gaze towards his feet and resting his head on his knees.

Sirius crept closer towards Harry. He wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him in closer making Harry place his head on Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius kissed Harry’s head as he held him in his embrace, both men quiet for a few moments. “Harry, I’m too old for you,” he whispered, as Harry felt Sirius’ warm breath on his scalp causing him to shiver. He moved in closer into Sirius’ body.

“You don’t think I know that?” Harry replied in a soft voice. “You don’t think I’ve thought that I’m crazy, that it’s not normal. But I can’t help the way I feel and neither can you. You can deny it all you wish but I’ve had time to think these past few days. I’ve seen the way you look at me and you told me to stop that day in the Order meeting but I saw your reaction. You liked it, you like me. You just won’t admit it.”

Harry adjusted himself so that he was able to look right into Sirius’ eyes. He turned his body to face Sirius; his weight pushed on his right knee as he placed himself in Sirius’ lap, his left knee cutting into Sirius’ groin. Harry wasn’t sure if Sirius felt pain but he didn’t react so Harry didn’t flinch. Harry wore cotton trousers and he was aware that Sirius could undoubtedly feel Harry’s erection on his left thigh. “It’s my sixteenth birthday, give me the gift of honesty – tell me you don’t want to kiss me.”

Sirius gulped and Harry noticed his eyes were full of confliction, he was holding himself back. Harry leaned in and gently kissed Sirius’ neck causing him to moan. _That was definitely pleasure_. Harry pulled back to see Sirius’ reaction and he softly smiled at him. He didn’t wish to make Sirius miserable; he was just tired of feeling depressed all the time. He wanted an answer from Sirius, it didn’t matter if it was a yes or a no – he just wanted an answer.

Until now Sirius’ hands had rested by his sides, he slowly moved his right hand and placed it on Harry’s left hip, gently moving it so Harry could properly sit on his lap. His left hand travelled to Harry’s neck and pulled his face down on him. Their lips met again but unlike the kiss from Saturday afternoon which had been hasty and fiery, their second kiss was soft, gentle and yet still utterly passionate. Sirius’ hands moved from Harry’s neck and hip to join together holding the small of his back and travelling south. Harry’s fingers ran through Sirius’ hair simultaneously. The kiss lasted several minutes, Sirius’ lips parted as Harry’s tongue smoothly explored into Sirius’ mouth as if Harry had been waiting a lifetime for this venture. The heavy sounds of their breaths, Sirius’ taste, and the feel of his touch was almost too overwhelming for Harry but he dared not stop if anything, he wanted more.

The kisses only became deeper as the moment continued. The two men took short breaks for air then they’d resume their actions without words, without explanations. Harry began grinding his arse on Sirius’ lap and Sirius’ hands only encouraged the movements. Sirius gently let out a moan as Harry sucked on his tongue and his arse rode Sirius’ cock itching to get out of his jeans. Harry let go of Sirius’ mouth and began to grind more on Sirius’ erection as he reached behind himself and held onto Sirius’ knees, he dashed his head back and closed his eyes concentrating on his movements and enjoying the sensation. Sirius grabbed Harry’s waist and watched him as Harry’s shirt rode up due to the angle he was at. Sirius leaned in and kissed Harry’s stomach right above the tiny hairline that led to his groin. Harry released a loud moan, feeling Sirius’ lips on his stomach and turned to grab his mouth again.

Harry fumbled with Sirius’ jeans as he tried to unbutton them, aching to touch him. Sirius told him to wait, to hold on. Someone could come through the Floo, they could get caught. He held Harry firmly and whispered _stay still_. Moments later Sirius Apparated them to his bedroom and they landed on the bed. It was the first time Harry had ever felt Apparition, he was still underage after all so he’d never been able to use it himself and he’d never been taught it either. He felt queasy but Sirius’ gentle yet stable hand on his back reassured him. _He was safe_.

Their bodies immediately resumed their past actions. Moving together, their hands felt each other’s warmth, undressing and revealing nothing but their skin and their desire for one another. Bodies tangled as Harry’s heartbeat quivered, they slid in sync, their erections glided together and Harry was flooded with immense pleasure. He knew this wasn’t wrong, this was what he wanted, what Sirius wanted. Harry and Sirius pushed towards each other with eagerness and persistence that they knew now they had been unjustly denying their desire, and they couldn’t have waited any longer. Soon Harry was coming whimpering, calling Sirius’ name. He spilt himself between their bodies and Sirius joined him moments later, they continued to tremble against each other as their lips joined again, tongues tussling.

Harry collapsed on Sirius’ bed and Sirius grabbed his wand and charmed the sheets and their bodies clean. He placed himself next to Harry as Harry cuddled into him burying his face in Sirius’ neck.

“Harry, did you tell your friends...?”

“No Sirius, I’m not stupid.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid Harry, far from it,” Sirius pulled Harry closer into his embrace and kissed his forehead.

“Did you hate it?” Harry asked as he looked up at Sirius’s face, eyes full of uneasiness. “Being with me?”

Sirius leaned in to kiss Harry, “How could anyone hate being with you Harry? You’re perfect.” Harry smiled and nuzzled his face back against Sirius’ neck. “But,” Sirius continued, “I’m afraid that we shouldn’t take this any further for the time being.”

“As long as I know that I’m not crazy, and that I can be with you like this. I don’t want anything more,” Harry answered, “...for the time being.” He looked up at Sirius one last time and grinned as Sirius shook his head at Harry’s deviousness.

“Dumbledore is going to come by soon, to take you away,” Sirius announced.

“What? Why? When?” Harry exclaimed sitting up on the bed to face Sirius. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“We were a bit preoccupied earlier Harry, if you didn’t notice,” Sirius answered and Harry blushed. Sirius raised his arms to pull Harry back into his embrace. “He’s going to owl you soon, it’ll explain everything.”

Shortly after they fell asleep.

________________________________________

Harry woke up the next morning again to an empty bed, though this time; he could smell the breakfast waiting for him all the way from the kitchen and heard the intercom buzz with Sirius’ voice calling him down for it. Harry noticed that Sirius had brought his silk robe from Harry’s room and placed it on the chair in the corner of his bedroom. Harry decided not to dress in his clothes from the evening before and wore the robe instead.

When Harry arrived in the kitchen he saw Sirius flipping waffles as he poured syrup on them. Harry laughed at the site of Sirius cooking breakfast and dancing to the music coming from the record player in the corner. When Sirius saw him, he pulled Harry into a kiss and Harry jumped up on Sirius, wrapping his legs around his waist. Sirius dropped the spatula as he pushed Harry against the wall and returned Harry’s kiss profusely. A few short moments later Sirius broke the kiss as he gasped for air. “Let’s have breakfast first,” he smiled.

During breakfast Harry received an owl from Dumbledore, just as Sirius had predicted.

_Dear Harry,_

_If it is convenient to you, I shall call at number twelve, Grimmauld Place this coming Monday at eleven p.m. to escort you to the Burrow, where you have been invited to spend the remainder of your school holidays._

_If you are agreeable, I should also be glad of your assistance in a matter to which I hope to attend on the way to the Burrow. I shall explain this more fully when I see you._

_Kindly send your answer by return of this owl. Hoping to see you this Friday,_

_I am yours most sincerely,_  
 _Albus Dumbledore_

________________________________________

“What if I don’t want to stay at the Burrow?” Harry protested.

“And what about the help he is requesting from you?” Sirius asked. Harry didn’t say anything. “You have to know that you have a responsibility Harry, and you have to go back to school.”

“But school doesn’t even start for another month! I want to stay with you Sirius, we just started...this. I don’t want to leave.”

Sirius took Harry’s hand and caressed it gently. Harry stood up with a desire to touch Sirius again. Sirius pulled Harry in towards himself. Harry sat in Sirius’ lap at the breakfast table. A few years ago this gesture between Harry and Sirius would have been a lot different, a lot more innocent than it was now. Sirius wrapped his arm around Harry, his hand reaching under the robe caressing his waistline as he kissed Harry’s neck. Though Harry was upset upon receiving Dumbledore’s letter and at the thought of leaving Sirius so soon, Sirius had managed to smooth out the tension that was building in between Harry’s eyebrows. Harry began to slowly rock himself in Sirius’ lap as Sirius’ hands continued move further down Harry’s thighs. Harry was glad to know that he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t get enough. Sirius’ hands gently grabbed Harry’s cock as he rocked his body back and forth on his own. Sirius’ grip became tighter and his hand movements firmer until Harry was coming all over Sirius’ hands.

For the next three nights Harry continued to sleep in Sirius’ bed with him. Their actions remained the same though Harry was eager to do more, he longed to taste Sirius in his mouth but Sirius kept insisting for him to wait. Sirius promised Harry that they would explore more of each other during Christmas break.

Dumbledore arrived promptly at eleven on Monday, the 5th of August to take Harry with him. Dumbledore reminded Harry and Sirius that he would be of age next year and would be free to use magic on his own. Harry realised at that moment that Sirius was requesting to wait to do more sexual activities perhaps because he was waiting for another year, for Harry to turn seventeen, to be of age. Dumbledore gave Harry and Sirius privacy to say their goodbyes and they kissed for the last time. As they were about to leave Dumbledore asked Harry if he had ever Apparated before. Harry lied.

The rest of the summer holidays were fun for Harry, but every night he longed to be with Sirius. He owled Sirius to visit him at the Burrow one last time before he went off to Hogwarts and Sirius obeyed. However, his visit wasn’t as _alone_ and _passionate_ as Harry had hoped since one could never be alone at the Burrow. Nevertheless, Harry was glad that he and Sirius had managed a kiss in privacy.

Harry visited Diagon Alley with the Weasleys to shop for school supplies and dropped in on Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes where they spotted Draco Malfoy and that was where Harry’s obsession with Draco began.

Harry wrote to Sirius about Draco’s actions on the train after he’d caught Harry spying on him. He ended the letter with the disappointment of being found by Tonks because the only good thing about being immobilized in the Hogwarts Express was that he’d be returning to Sirius. He also wondered why Tonks seemed so depressed and whether Mrs Weasley really wished for Bill to marry her instead of Fleur.

During the school year Harry continued his private lessons with Dumbledore and Sirius wrote to Harry indicating that he was doing some top secret research work for Dumbledore as well. Though the contents of the lessons and Sirius’ discoveries could not be revealed in the letters they exchanged. Harry also continued his friendship with Tonks and slowly learned more about Sirius’ past of what she had known. He knew that Tonks suspected what Harry felt but they never discussed it. They continued to have a sort of silent understanding.

________________________________________

Harry and Sirius exchange several owls every month while Harry stayed at Hogwarts.

Harry continuously wrote to Sirius that no one believed him but he was sure Malfoy was _up to no good_. Harry was disheartened when Sirius eventually stopped replying to his letters. The stress of Quidditch; and stalking Malfoy meant that he felt Sirius’ absence even more. Harry wrote to Sirius several times for a month before he finally received a reply.

_Dear Harry,_

_Sorry I haven’t been able to write to you recently but, the Order has kept me quite busy these days and I haven’t had a chance to rest. It seems that Quidditch is going well for you this year, and I’m sorry to hear about your friend Katie. I read about her situation in the paper as well. I have to admit that I’m quite concerned about your interest in that Malfoy boy. I can’t help but wonder if your interest in him is really what you’re saying it is. I know that Draco is good-looking and more your age, perhaps you’re drawn towards him for another purpose?_

_If you wish to explore your options while you’re back in school, I understand. I developed feelings for my father’s friend once – he was charming, and quite confident and I was –so– sure that I was in love with him. It wasn’t until after I met Jason that I realised it was simply lust. Jason was my true mate._

_Also, I spoke to Molly and Arthur Weasley recently and they have invited you over for the Christmas Holidays. I will inform them that you will be staying with them. I hope your lessons with Dumbledore are going well._

_Always,_  
 _Padfoot._

________________________________________

Harry read the letter and panicked. He had given the wrong impression to Sirius. He didn’t have an interest in Malfoy, he wanted Sirius! _No! This is going all wrong._ If Sirius’ letter was any indication, he wished to end things with Harry and return to Jason. _How could I be so stupid?_

He immediately grabbed a piece of parchment and replied to Sirius. He begged for Sirius to meet him at Hogsmeade – to give him a chance to explain.

He knew Tonks was often on guard at Hogsmeade so Harry decided to write to her as well and ask for her help. He wanted to reserve a room in the Three Broomsticks inn, where he could privately speak to Sirius about his _intentions_.

Tonks visited Hogwarts soon after wanting to speak with Harry. She raised an eyebrow when Harry tried to explain why he needed to speak to Sirius so urgently.

“There’s just been a misunderstanding, and I wish to clear it up, that’s all,” Harry said.

“But it’s not something you can discuss out in the open, like how you’re talking to me now?” Tonks asked.

“Tonks, will you help me or not?” Harry snapped.

“Okay, okay I will,” she replied with a smile. “I’ll send you an owl once I’ve reserved the room and figured out the necessary precautions so no one knows why you’re there and who it is you’re meeting,” she added. Harry launched himself at her and held her in a tight embrace. A few students that walked by murmured when they witnessed the scene. Harry was sure new rumours about him would begin circling around the Great Hall in no time.

Harry noticed again what he’d witnessed at the beginning of term, Tonks seemed down. When he asked her how she was feeling, she brushed it off by calling it stress. Harry took that as a sign to stop prying.

A week later Harry, underneath the cover of his invisibility cloak, arrived at the Three Broomsticks. He tapped on Tonks’ shoulder who in turn held out a key toward him. Harry quickly snatched it from her hand. He whispered a _thanks_ as he walked away looking around and finally spotting a large black dog around the corner from where he stood.

Harry had pre-arranged this meeting and requested a specific room so Sirius would know in advance where to arrive. When Harry opened the room marked six zero nine he was met by a cool breeze from the open window. The November chill had settled into the room and Harry saw Sirius coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Harry wondered why Sirius hadn’t opted to simply Apparate into Hogsmeade but didn’t ask. He was already too distracted by Sirius’ perfectly tone upper body and had to physically restrain himself from gawking at it.

The few nights they had spent together, the room was never as well lit as it was on today. Harry had never been granted enough time to study and memorize Sirius’ body as he wished he had. He closed the window quickly and the small fire in corner eventually began to warm up the room a bit. Harry smiled up at Sirius and ran to give him a hug. Harry felt Sirius’ detachment though and was immediately worried.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked.

“Nothing,” Sirius responded, “I’ve just been a bit preoccupied.” Sirius finally pulled Harry into a proper hug and held him tightly. Harry leaped up an inch to catch Sirius’ mouth for a kiss but Sirius, it seemed, was too fast and kissed Harry’s forehead.

“I’ve missed you,” Harry said, as Sirius pulled away and sat on the bed.

“What did you tell Tonks to request her to reserve this room?” Sirius asked, ignoring Harry’s declaration.

“Nothing – just that I wanted to speak to you in private. She doesn’t suspect anything if that’s what you’re worried about,” Harry replied.

“You do this a lot?” Sirius asked. “Reserve rooms in inns for rendezvous?”

“No, just with you,” Harry replied. This wasn’t going the way Harry had hoped it would. “What’s wrong Sirius?”

“Nothing, what did you wish to speak to me about?” Sirius asked. Harry’s heart sank again, he had gotten so used to the sweet, gentle way Sirius had treated him, this hint of a bitterness that he now displayed was agonising.

“I was hoping we wouldn’t speak, exactly,” Harry said, a sly smile returning to his face. He slowly approached Sirius and climbed on top of him again, still smiling as he pushed Sirius against the bedpost.

“I thought we’d ended this,” Sirius whispered in return, but didn’t push Harry away. His arms lay by his side.

“Do _you_ want this to end?” Harry asked. “Do you want to pursue someone else? Did you reconcile with Jason?”

“I’m not the one who wishes to pursue someone else,” Sirius retorted. His hand had finally moved, but went against Harry’s needs. He grabbed Harry’s hips and coerced him to stop moving his body upon Sirius’. Harry climbed off of Sirius who in turn walked away from the bed and stared outside the window.

“Sirius, I don’t – I don’t even know what to say. I want you, I don’t want anyone else. What you think about my intentions towards Malfoy, they’re wrong. I know he’s up to something, and Snape’s helping him. I heard them!”

“What do you mean heard them?” Sirius asked. Harry began explaining the conversation Harry listened in on between Snape and Malfoy and _the Unbreakable Vow_. “That’s enough Harry.”

“But –”

“I’m leaving,” Sirius stated. “You can bring your concerns to the Order’s attention when you return for Christmas Holidays in a few days.”

“You trust Snape! You trust him over me. So it’s true then,” Harry said, his voice stern and cold.

“What’s true then?” Sirius parroted, a look of surprise on his face.

“All this about ‘everything that happened between James and Sirius and Severus,’ I’ve heard it all, over and over again, but I never wanted to believe it. You were shagging Snape in your seventh year at Hogwarts; he was your secret _affair_.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Sirius asked stunned. Harry wasn’t sure if Sirius was so stunned because he didn’t know how Harry came about this information or if he was stunned because Harry was correct.

“I’ll never be my father, the one you probably yearned for, and I’ll never be like Snape, your former lover, the one you probably compare me to. I’ll never be good enough and it’s you who doesn’t want to continue this between us. You’ve had your share of me and I don’t blame you. You were in prison for twelve years, why would you want me?” Harry turned and sat back down on the bed. His chest was burning up, his heart beating a thousand times per second.

“Harry, it isn’t like that. I don’t think like that. I want you; there isn’t a doubt in my mind – or my heart – about how much I want you. Harry, I think you’re amazing,” Sirius responded. He placed his arms around Harry’s shoulders again as Harry leaned his head in and rested against Sirius’ chest. The sound of Sirius’ heartbeat soothed Harry; he remembered the moment he had thought he’d lost Sirius forever and how devastated he was in that moment and now he was here, with Sirius again, in his warm embrace.

“Then tell me what you want from me. How can I prove to you that I only long for you?” Harry asked, as he nuzzled up towards Sirius’ neck and kissed him lightly.

Sirius shivered. “I want you to drop your obsession with Draco. I know how you’ve contacted Arthur about suspicions you’ve had about the Malfoys but let the Aurors do their job!”

Harry nodded. “But –” Harry began to speak again as Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Can I still write to you about my suspicions? I promise if you hear what I have to say you’ll agree with me –” Harry’s speech was stopped when Sirius pressed his lips on Harry’s. Harry figured Sirius knew that it would be the sure-fire way of getting Harry to shut up. Harry responded to Sirius’ kiss with equal measure. Harry’s kiss was desperate, he tangled his fingers in Sirius’ hair, pulling him closer, afraid that if he let go for even one second, Sirius might have changed his mind, _again_.

________________________________________

Though the Weasleys didn’t approve and Ron didn’t understand, Harry insisted on spending his Christmas Holidays with Sirius. Ron told him that he thought he and Harry could talk more about his suspicions about Malfoy and Snape with him, that he’d welcome the distraction but Harry claimed that Sirius had set him straight. Harry knew however that the only way he wouldn’t obsess over Malfoy would be if Sirius was there – constantly distracting him.

The Order meetings continued over the holidays and Snape was always the first to arrive and the last to leave via the Floo at the Black residence. Harry finally understood the looks of disdain Harry had received from Snape over the summer and all through the school year. _He probably suspects,_ Harry thought. Snape wasn’t the only one, but he was the only one who showed his disapproval with such contempt.

Molly Weasley insisted on Harry staying over at the Burrow any chance she got and Harry was running out of excuses. Finally one day Harry decided to just spend two nights at the Burrow where he felt he could talk to Arthur Weasley and Remus about his suspicions. It was a let-down. Remus insisted that Snape was simply pretending to offer help to Malfoy and he even went as far as stating that he _trusted_ Snape. Harry was sure he would hurl.

“You were always determined to hate him, and with James as your father and Sirius by your side, you’re surely prejudiced,” Remus said.

_Sirius by your side? Does this mean Remus knows there’s something between Sirius and I?_

The conversation soon ended when Sirius arrived at the Burrow and Harry begged them not to share Harry’s concerns with Sirius. Both men agreed but Remus kept his eye on Harry the entire time they were at the Burrow. Harry was becoming paranoid. _What would happen if everyone found out?_

A bit more of a talk with Remus and Sirius about Remus’ werewolf connections and the two older men soon began reminiscing about James. Harry felt a bit awkward in their presence, he was used to sometimes being compared to his father but this was different. Harry was sure that Sirius still had feelings for his father and he knew he was constantly compared to him in Sirius’ eyes.

Harry decided to divert his thoughts and began to chat with Tonks and Ginny. Harry had completely forgotten about his worries by the time Ginny confessed to Harry that she’d left Dean because she had fallen for someone, someone no one suspected. She was about to reveal who it was when Fred and George pulled a prank and distracted everyone.

Molly had insisted on Harry spending one more night at the Burrow but, when she went off to bed Harry asked Sirius to take him _home_. Sirius happily obliged. Ever since his return from Hogwarts for the holidays, Harry had not spent one night alone with Sirius. But tonight it was going to be deserted and Harry would finally be able to sleep next to Sirius in his bed.

They arrived at Number 12, Grimmauld Place via the Floo and Sirius immediately secured the wards. Harry was nervous, though he wasn’t sure why. He’d spent over a month alone with Sirius over the summer and they’d spent several days together in Sirius’ bed. He had been looking forward to this for so long and now he was getting cold feet.

“I’m going to take a shower before heading off to bed,” Sirius announced as he walked upstairs towards his bedroom not once looking back. Harry wasn’t sure if that was an announcement or an invitation. Sirius hadn’t even indicated if they were going to sleep in the same room. Harry had seen Sirius and Remus conversing at the Burrow and he wondered if Remus had said something to Sirius about them. Harry continued to stand awkwardly in the sitting room next to the Floo until he decided that it was time to take matters into his own hands again.

Harry rushed into his room and grabbed a pair of cotton trousers and a t-shirt. He then headed towards Sirius’ room. When he arrived he heard the water running in the bathroom and all of Sirius’ clothes were discarded at the foot of the bed. Harry closed the door to Sirius’ room behind him, carefully locking it. He then threw his sleeping clothes on the chair and undressed himself. He slowly strode into the bathroom and saw Sirius’ silhouette through the foggy glass. Harry’s thoughts diverted towards that afternoon in the Three Broomsticks where he’d clearly seen Sirius in all of his perfection.

Harry opened the glass door and Sirius, who had previously been standing under the shower, turned to look at Harry. Harry’s heart sank once again, _what if I’m not welcomed_?

“Took you long enough,” Sirius said. His smiled, beaming with satisfaction for having set eyes upon Harry.

“Oh, I didn’t realise –” Harry was getting used to his speeches being interrupted by Sirius’ mouth. It was a habit he appreciated.

Sirius pulled Harry in and closed the glass door behind him. Harry felt the hot water cascading on his head as Sirius’s tongue slid in Harry’s mouth and his hand teased Harry’s cock. The heat from the hot water, the steam rising in between their bodies, Sirius’ tongue in Harry’s mouth and his hand on Harry’s cock became almost too much for Harry as he moaned into Sirius’ mouth. Sirius pulled back to watch Harry’s face, his own smile dictating deviousness.

“Is this how you plan on getting me off?” Harry asked. “If it is, then it’s definitely working.”

“This is most certainly not how I plan on getting you off tonight,” Sirius responded. He grabbed a small bottle of gel and began to lather Harry’s body. He pulled Harry away from the shower head and gently pushed him up against the wall as he lathered Harry’s back. Harry turned and mimicked Sirius’ moves. Their erections glided next to each other’s as they moaned in unison and washed off the soap under the water. Shortly after Sirius was on his knees; hungrily staring at Harry’s cock. “I have wanted to do this for so long, Harry.” Sirius whispered, although Harry could barely hear what he’d said over the water running and the sound of his own breath gasping with pleasure.

Sirius placed a series of wet, sucking kisses right below Harry’s belly button as his cock gently brushed Sirius’ chin. Harry’s chest began to rapidly rise and fall as Sirius took in Harry’s length and began to suck. Harry moaned, unlike a sound he’d uttered before. This was a sensation unlike he’d ever felt before. No wank, no erection tussling could ever compare to the sensation of having a tongue run up his cock and across his slit. He whimpered. He needed this, he didn’t even know why, but he did. Harry grabbed Sirius’ wet hair and began to fuck in and out of his mouth. Sirius gripped Harry’s thighs firmer and groaned. Harry let go of Sirius’s hair and grabbed his own head as he came. He came with more force than he ever had before, another comparison made in his mind of compiled sensations he’d never felt previous to this. Sirius swallowed every drop.

Sirius eventually stood up and Harry claimed his lips again, able to taste himself on Sirius’ tongue. As Sirius resumed washing both of them under the warm water, he kissed Harry’s left earlobe and whispered “Merry Christmas, Harry.” Harry grinned with delight and wondered what sort of surprise awaited him on New Year’s.

Eventually drying each other off with a towel, Sirius grabbed Harry and all but threw him onto the bed.

“Do you want more?” Sirius asked.

Harry nodded a yes, still panting from the after effects of his ventures in the shower. Sirius whispered an incantation and Harry saw a liquid substance appear in Sirius’ palm. Harry couldn’t help but wonder if Snape had taught him that spell.

Sirius spread Harry’s legs around him; he rubbed the oil all over his hand and poured a few drops on Harry’s passage. Harry felt a warm sensation that soon overwhelmed him.

“Are you alright?” Sirius asked gently.

Harry nodded a yes and grabbed the back of Sirius’s neck, pulling him into another deep kiss.

Sirius gently moved his hand down Harry’s body and slipped it between his legs to his opening. He slowly pushed the first finger in and Harry arched his back with an approving moan before biting down on Sirius’s neck. Sirius slipped another in, slowly stretching Harry. Harry arched and moaned some more. He paused in his movements for a moment, he wasn’t sure if he wished to withdraw or shove himself farther on Sirius’s fingers. When Sirius suddenly slipped his fingers out Harry moaned in objection. Pulling out was definitely not what he wanted.

But then Sirius returned and slowly pushed up and inside Harry with his cock. Harry let out a low sound of pleasure, and Sirius began with slow, focused thrusts until both were hot and sweaty. Harry continued gasping breathlessly, begging for more.

Harry tensed underneath Sirius and came again, spattering everywhere, all over Sirius’s chest and his. Harry felt Sirius’s hot breath as he moved faster until he was pushed over the edge as well. Sirius lay on top of him panting, both of them wrapped up in each other’s arms with Sirius’s head sagging lifelessly down on Harry’s shoulder.

Sirius eventually toppled off of Harry’s body and lay on his left side. Harry leaned over and grabbed Sirius’ wand to give it to him so he could spell the sheets clean. Harry yearned to be of age so he could at least cast simple spells and _do his part_.

They fell asleep shortly after and Harry was so exhausted that he thought that he might sleep away the whole day tomorrow. He was suddenly glad that he’d locked the door just in case someone decided to show up at the house uninvited.

________________________________________

Similar to the summer holidays, the Christmas holidays with Sirius had been limited. Harry never could get enough alone time with Sirius as some sort of obligation or mission came up and interrupted them. It was time to return to Hogwarts and time for Harry to wake up from this wonderful dream and return to school and his lessons with Dumbledore.

Harry found himself lost again. He did his best to concentrate on lessons, both in his classes and with Dumbledore. He tried not to think about Malfoy but Harry couldn’t help but read the Marauder’s map and obsess over Malfoy’s mysterious disappearance from school grounds. The task of obtaining Professor’s Slughorn’s memory about Voldemort distracted Harry for a bit, and he was eventually successful, but, he paid a heavy price. In the heat of the moment, without knowing the actual occurrence of the spell, Harry casted _Sectumsempra_ on Malfoy – landing him in the hospital wing.

Harry was horrified with himself.

Snape didn’t help. His Potions Professor teased Harry for being able to conjure such Dark Magic. “Perhaps breaking all the rules is now your forte, Potter. No regard for authority, no regard for morality. You _and_ Black.” Harry winced at the thought that Snape might be aware of his relationship with Sirius and he was scared that he might reveal it Dumbledore, or worse Voldemort. Voldemort had murdered his parents to get to him, he might murder Sirius as well. _They had already tried_.

When Sirius received the news of Harry’s offence, he was called in to Hogwarts. Sirius received an earful from McGonagall and Snape. Harry attempted to argue that it wasn’t Sirius’ fault, it was his. Sirius stayed quiet the entire time. Sirius’ silence scared Harry more than any punishment Snape or McGonagall would have placed on him.

“I thought you were done with your – _obsession_ ,” Sirius stated. The disappointment – the hurt was visible all over his face. “You lied to me?”

“No, I didn’t. Sirius, I don’t know what happened, I didn’t even know what that spell did,” Harry pleaded for Sirius to understand him, to forgive him.

Sirius asked Harry how he had learned about the spell, and Harry told him everything from the beginning. He told Sirius about the book in Slughorn’s class and the strange events that were happening around school, Katie Bell, Ron’s accidental poisoning. Sirius told Harry to be careful and walked away, seeming to be still outraged.

Harry tried to chase after Sirius but the older man told him to “stay away.” Harry watched Sirius walk away and then he headed to the dungeon, towards Snape’s office.

Harry was sure then that he’d lost Sirius indefinitely.

Weeks passed by and Harry didn’t hear a word from Sirius. Harry went on about his days at Hogwarts like clockwork. He finally heard from Dumbledore and was excited for an adventurous trip in search of a Horcrux.

That night ended up being one of the worst nights Harry would ever experience as all his fears came true. When Dumbledore and Harry returned to Hogwarts, Dumbledore was disarmed by Draco Malfoy and eventually killed by Severus Snape.

“Snape did it,” Harry announced in the hospital wing when he arrived holding Ginny’s hand. His eyes were met by Sirius who stood next to Remus, Tonks, and Madam Pomfrey.

Everyone blamed themselves for trusting Snape and Harry stood in the corner holding onto Ginny, unsure if tears had trickled down his eyes or not. He knew that he was dying on the inside.

“This is all my fault,” Sirius said as he approached Harry and held him. Harry resisted a bit, he wasn’t sure if he was upset with Sirius or with himself. He’d let other people’s convictions persuade him into considering facts that proved against his own assurances.

Harry mumbled as Sirius continued to hold him. “Malfoy had him cornered and Snape killed him. They were both a part of it, neither wanting the other to take credit.”

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” Sirius replied. His embrace tighter than before, Harry wondered if he was afraid to let go – that if he did, Harry might disappear.

Soon after that Tonks confessed her love to Remus, refusing to take no for an answer when McGonagall stated, “Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world.”

Harry turned to look at a tearful Sirius. Sirius spoke again, “Harry, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I didn’t hear what you had to say. I promise, from now on, I will never suspect your intentions or doubt your word again.” Harry nodded at Sirius’ words as Hermione and Ron came around behind him, hugging him tightly.

“We’re happy for you Harry and you should forgive Sirius,” Hermione said. Harry immediately turned to look into her eyes, his own full of his inner shock, but her eyes on the other hand displayed nothing more than understanding. She smiled and leaned in to whisper in Harry’s ears, “We know, we’ve always known.” She looked at Ron who nodded in agreement awkwardly. “Or at least I have,” she added.

Harry wondered if Dumbledore would have cared for the survival and continuation of more love, if he would have been particularly happy to know that Ginny had finally confessed to Luna who had happily reciprocated.

The day after Dumbledore’s funeral Harry returned to his home with Sirius. He knew that he only had a handful of days left with him before he was of age and he would have to set off on his search for the remaining Horcruxes. A tale he couldn’t share with Sirius. _Dumbledore’s orders_.

The only thing that kept Harry sane between the time of Dumbledore’s death and Bill and Fleur’s wedding was the time he spent in Sirius’ arms. Sirius had confessed everything to Harry. He’d told Harry about his past with Snape and how he knew that the spell he’d used on Malfoy was Snape’s. He told Harry then when Malfoy had been hurt; Sirius had confronted Snape who claimed he didn’t know how Harry had learned about it. Sirius had begun to doubt Dumbledore’s faith in Snape but he didn’t tell him because he trusted Dumbledore’s judgement just like everyone else had.

Every night they made love, Harry begged for it as though it would have been his last night with Sirius. Slowly, everyone in the Order who found out about Harry and Sirius and Harry cared less and less. After Bill and Fleur’s wedding and the ambush by the Death Eaters Harry, Ron and Hermione fled to Muggle London, where they decided the safest place for them to stay would be at Grimmauld Place. Sirius left the house as soon as Ron and Hermione moved in. He joined Tonks and the others of the Order to subvert the Death Eaters on their own accord. Harry and Sirius didn’t meet again until the 1st of May, 1998.

Remus and Tonks died on the 2nd leaving behind a baby that had only just come into the world. They left him in the care of Harry and Sirius, naming them as Teddy Lupin’s godparents. In the end, Harry and Sirius had survived a lot more than the war. They’d lost many people they held dear to their hearts and many who had fought by their side because they believed in Harry.

After all the trials were over, Harry received a letter from Draco Malfoy, thanking him for saving his life and speaking on behalf of him and his family. Harry was simply glad it was all over, and that he could finally return to Sirius.

________________________________________

**19 Years Later**

Harry arrived at the familiar barrier between platforms nine and ten at King’s Cross station. He was accompanied by his four children and, with their two mothers, crossed over onto a platform covered by thick white steam that was pouring from the Hogwarts Express. Harry had married Sirius in 2000 and enjoyed thirteen years of wedded bliss until a heart attack robbed Sirius of his life at the age of fifty four. _No magical incantations can save you from a natural cause of death_. Harry, along with Ginny, Luna and their four children hurried across the platform to find Ron and Hermione.

Ginny and Harry shared the oldest and the youngest child of their family – James Sirius Potter-Black and Tonks Ginerva Potter-Black. Luna had given birth to Sirius’ twins, Albus Severus Potter-Black and Lily Luna Potter-Black. On this crisp day of the 1st of September, all but one, Tonks, were headed off to Hogwarts. Albus and Lily would be starting their first year and James was going back for his third. Tonks clutched her mother Luna’s arm as she followed behind the group weeping. They said their goodbyes and the brothers promised Tonks they’d write to her every week, Lily insisting that she’d send an owl every other day and Tonks soon began to laugh and cheer them off again.

As the last trace of steam evaporated and the platform began to thin out Harry noticed a slim man with unmistakeably recognisable blond hair and a dark coat who was staring and smiling at Harry. Ginny and Luna nodded to each other and walked away; following Ron and Hermione in an attempt to catch up with and talk to them.

“Potter,” Draco Malfoy nodded curtly at Harry in recognition.

“Malfoy,” Harry replied. “You dropped off one of yours today?”

“One and only,” Malfoy replied. “Scorpius,” he added.

“I’ve heard Albus talk about him fondly,” Harry said. Tonks was now jumping next to Harry, holding up her arms and hinting for him to pick her up. “Okay, okay,” Harry turned to his five year old daughter and picked her up in his arms. “This is Tonks,” Harry introduced her to Malfoy.

“Tonks?” Malfoy asked raising an eyebrow.

“Named her after Nymphadora, who hated being called that so we just call her Tonks. She’s mine and Ginny’s,” Harry answered.

“Oh I thought you were with –” Malfoy’s tone was inquisitive.

“It’s a long story,” Harry said.

“Try me,” Malfoy replied.

“Mummy!” Tonks screamed as she saw Luna and jumped out of Harry’s arms, running towards her blond mother. Draco looked even more confused, causing Harry to laugh.

“Hermione is a Healer, but she’s got a medical degree in Muggle Medicine as well. She’d introduced us to this idea of having children without intercourse, it’s called _artificial insemination_ , so we asked Ginny and Luna who’d gotten together around the same time as Sirius and I if they’d be willing to share a family. Ginny shares James and Tonks with me and Luna gave birth to Albus and Lily. We would have switched more if the twins hadn’t been born.” Harry stopped talking, Malfoy looked as though his head was spinning. “I told you it was long – and complicated.”

“Indeed,” Malfoy responded. An awkward sort of silence fell upon the two and Malfoy looked as though he was debating the next set of words that were on the tip of his tongue. “I’m sorry, _was_ sorry, to read about your husband’s passing. I mean we were family, though I never truly reached out or anything.”

“Thank you,” Harry responded with a genuine smile. He believed that Malfoy was sincere in his comment. “We had a wonderful fifteen years together, more than I could have ever asked for.”

Draco nodded in acknowledgement.

“So your family isn’t here to see your son off?” Harry asked. He immediately felt self-conscious for asking such a personal question.

“My mother was devastated she couldn’t make it but she’s at home ill, my wife and I are no longer – husband and wife. And my father is my father,” Malfoy replied.

“Oh, I am sorry to hear about your divorce. I remember reading about it in the _Prophet_ ,” Harry answered.

Malfoy rolled his eyes; Harry had never seen him this relaxed before. “It’s quite tragic really, when you marry for familial relations and discover that perhaps compatibility is absent due to lack of love.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Harry said. He also remembered reading other details of the divorce in the _Prophet_ that he attempted to stray away from.

“Don’t be, I’m not. She’s already remarried and is living happily. My father was glad that she didn’t come after the family fortune, of course.” Draco laughed and Harry joined him. “All I can do now is raise my son right, teach him some things that I was never taught.”

“Like what?” Harry asked, unable to help himself.

“For starters, I told Scorpius that if he wishes to be Albus’ friend, make sure to not insult _his_ friends and try to stay humble,” Draco inadvertently mocked himself.

“That’s good advice,” Harry replied with a grin. His gaze fell upon the three women waiting for him and he nodded at them, as though he were about to join them.

“Potter,” Malfoy spoke again, “Harry.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked.

“Can I buy you a cup of coffee sometime?” Malfoy asked.

“Sure, Malfoy. That sounds great,” Harry replied.

“Tomorrow? If you’re available,” Malfoy responded, his eyes apprehensive as though Harry might say no.

“Tomorrow is great,” Harry replied.

“Okay, I’ll send you an owl then.” Malfoy smiled and turned to walk away.

“Draco?” Harry called after him this time, unsure of what he was doing. Malfoy turned to look back at Harry with curious eyes. “We’re off to lunch in a bit; do you want to come with?”

Draco displayed a small smile of delight. He approached Harry and walked with him to join the rest of the group. Almost everyone, except for Ron, smiled at the company of a new person and Tonks jumped at him as soon as they crossed over to the other side of the barrier.

“Are you my cousin?” Tonks asked.

“Am I your what?” Draco asked, confused, looking at Harry and Luna standing next to each other.

“Mummy says you’re Al’s and Lily’s cousin, so you must be my cousin too!” Tonks declared. Draco looked over at Harry and Luna who nodded in unison.

“I must be,” Draco replied, he smiled at Tonks as he carried her in his arms and followed the rest of the group.

\------------------ **The End**


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